Lessons in How to Become More Powerful From 'Survivor'

Adam Grant is best known as the author of popular business books, but he’s not just any old self-appointed business guru. He has stellar academic qualifications, including an undergrad degree from Harvard, a PhD from the University of Michigan, and a faculty position at the respected Wharton School. 

That sounds like a fun bit of family bonding. But Grant insists the show also offers an essential lesson in power and how to wield it for success that can benefit just about any professional, including entrepreneurs. 

Like any good Survivor obsessive, Grant and his family have a favorite moment from the show. Theirs came in season 16, when eventual series winner (spoiler alert!) Parvati Shallow teamed up with three other women to form the “Black Widow Brigade.” 

All four women made it to the final five along with another male competitor, Erik. But Erik won that week’s challenge and received immunity, signified by “the immunity necklace.” At first, the Brigade thought they would have to vote to eliminate one of their team, but then they hatched a long-shot plan to talk Erik into giving up his immunity. 

“What we’re saying at Tribal Council is, ‘Erik, no one’s going to respect you unless you make this big, bold move of giving up your immunity necklace to Natalie,’” Shallow relates. “I was not confident. I was like, you know what? We did our best and it’s like a quarterback throwing the Hail Mary at the seven seconds left in the game.” 

Which, of course, makes for riveting reality TV. But the episode, according to Grant is also a fantastic illustration of a key distinction anyone who wants to be successful at work (or in any cooperative endeavor with other humans really) needs to understand — power and status are not the same thing. And most people probably need to think more about status than they do about power.

To dig into this distinction, Grant talks to two fascinating guests in the episode: organizational psychologist and author of LIkable Badass Alison Fragale, and Chynna Clayton, former special assistant to the undeniably powerful Michelle Obama. The whole discussion is well worth a listen if you have the time, but the trio’s basic point is that chasing status will generally get you further than chasing power. 

These things often overlap, Fragale adds. We often give people we like and respect power, and if someone has power, you might be more inclined to respect them. But they are, at the end of the day, separate phenomena. 

Not understanding this fact was Erik’s fatal mistake in season 16. He thought he was respected by his fellow contestants, that he had status. In reality, they were plotting against him. Parvati lacked power (in the form of the immunity necklace), but she had status with her fellow Brigade members. In the end, status prevailed. 

Understanding that power and status are two separate things is the first step. How do you put this knowledge to use? Both are great to have, but the podcast experts insist that you’ll probably get further if you worry about establishing status first and then go after power. 

To understand why, think about people with power but little status—like a DMV worker or a TSA agent. These people are often not treated terribly well and react by being petty and dictatorial. The result is resentment, stress, and unhappiness all around. This is not a path you want to take. 

According to Fragale, chasing status first tends to work out a lot better: “If we can pursue status and we’re surrounded by people who respect, admire, and value us, then one, it doesn’t matter how much power we have, and two, getting power becomes a whole lot easier.” 

Clayton is the perfect illustration of this principle. She rose from intern to special assistant to the First Lady by making herself useful to others and showing them kindness and respect. In other words she ended up in a powerful position by establishing the two pillars of status: competence and care. 

Chasing status, Clayton points out, looks different than chasing power. It’s not about being the most assertive in the meeting or hobnobbing with the top people. It can take the form of including those more junior than you, taking on unglamorous tasks, and even using verbal tricks to sneak your ideas into the heads of the powerful. 

“New research suggests that leaders are more likely to adopt ideas when they’re presented as questions rather than suggestions—especially if leaders have big egos. When people are power-hungry, you can earn their respect by asking, ‘Have you considered…?’ or, ‘What do you think…?’ or, ‘What would happen if…'” reports Grant. 

Which is how Parvati prevailed in Micronesia. She didn’t bully or strong arm or bloviate. She helped people, earned their respect, and was strategic about soothing other people’s egos. In other words, she chased status first and won in the end. It’s an approach that might just work for you too.